Edwards Vagina
by Lucy Moo
Summary: Edward Cullen is a male cross-dresser. Can he become the greatest male dancer and get his dream girl Bella Swan?.... read to find out....
1. My job

Edwards Vagina

Chapter 1 - My Job

EPOV

I stood in my changing room looking at myself in the mirror one last time. I looked great but my 6 inch, white stilettos where killing my feet. I had 4 minutes to go before my show, so I touched up my make-up, straightened up my stockings and made sure they were still attatched to my suspenders. I brushed down my french maids outfit with my hands, clipped a black hair pin in my long blonde wig so it doesn't fall off and tucked my genitals into my skimpy white frenchies.  
"Good luck dude" Jasper shouted as he walked past dressed in the tightest, shortest and pinkest dress I had ever seen.  
As the lights dimmed, my heart started beating so hard I thought it was going to burst through my chest or I was going to have a heart attack, which ever came first. I walked onto the stage, took my position and the lights brightened.  
As I was pole dancing two gorgeous girls came in the door. One wearing purple and the other wearing red. The petite one in the purple who looked kind of like a pixie was pointing at me as I finished my dance, and the one in red smiled and it was the most perfect little smile I had ever seen.  
As I was walking off of the stage Jasper walked on and slapped my ass so the audience saw it. That got a round of cheers from the bar. As soon as I was behind the curtains I got called by the manager and my father. Carlisle.  
"Edward you have a bidder waiting for you in The Black Room."  
"Okay. How much?"  
"$5000. Its your lucky night." Carlisle snickered and walked off.  
'Wow! Five thousand dollers, they must be loaded.' I thought to myself.  
I walked down the corridor to the last door on the left, 'The Black Room'. My heart skipped a beat as I turned the door handle and let myself in.  
And there she was. The cute girl from the front door, in her skimpy red dress.  
"Hi. I'm Edward." I tried to roughen up my voice, but it just doesn't work when you're stuffed into skimpy lace knickers with a major wedgie.  
"Hello. I'm Bella." She replied in a soft voice.  
She got off of the black leather sofa and walked towards me. I was mesmerized by her sexy, swaying hips. 'God this woman is beautiful' I thought. I altered my gaze as she got closer, my eyes falling upon the face of an angel. Big chocolate brown eyes, a perfect little nose and soft pouty lips. I could feel myself getting hard and it was very uncomfortable, but I just couldn't resist staring at her beautiful lips. As soon as she was close enough I dived in and kissed her. She pulled away, slapped my left cheek and stormed out.  
I leant against the wall, sighed and adjusted myself. Can't go out looking like a half erected tent.

BPOV

I twisted the big diamond encrusted silver engagement ring on my finger, thinking about Emmett as guilt ran through me. I kept repeating to myself "I do love him. I do love him. I do lo....". The doorbell rang. I slipped my white top on and went down stairs missing the last step and falling to the floor. I got up and rushed to the door. As I opened it up, a loud squeal sounded and two arms shot out and wrapped themselves around me.  
"BELLA!!!!!" Alice squealed so loud it sounded like she sat on a drawing pin.  
"Hey Alice. What brings you here?" I said trying to sound happy to see her.  
"I have 2 tickets to that new club tonight and you are coming with me!" She exclaimed pulling the 2 tickets out of her pocket and waving them in my face.  
"What new club?" I said, confused.  
"Honestly Bella, you need to get out more"  
"I do. So whats in the bag?"  
"Clothes. For you. For tonight." My jaw dropped when she held out the little bit of red fabric.  
She calls this a dress?  
"Go." She urged. "Try it on!"  
I took the so-called 'dress' and wandered into the bathroom. I took off my jeans and t-shirt and slipped into this tight red dress. I walked out the bathroom door and looked at Alice. Her face lit up with an humungous smile "Wow." She breathed.  
'Oh my god, Alice is lost for words.' I thought to myself. 'That's a first.'  
"Make-up time." Alice announced breaking the silence. I nodded and she took my hand and dragged me to my bedroom.  
Once she was done with my hair and make-up she picked up another bag and handed it to me.  
"These also go with your outfit" she grinned.  
I took out of the bag a pair of red, 5 inch heel stilettos.  
"Alice I can't wear these," I wailed. "I'll break my neck!"  
"No you won't Bells, just pretend you're walking on your tip toes." She said trying so hard not to giggle. "Anyway we better hurry or we'll be late".  
Alice took my hand and we hurried or rather she hurried and I shuffled towards the door.  
Arriving at the club 45 minute later, the bouncer opened up the club door and a loud beating of music escaped.  
I looked straight up onto the stage as if my eyes were being attracted by a magnet. I saw the most beautiful man dressed as a woman. 'What kind of a club has Alice dragged me to?' I thought exasperated.  
"I bet you wouldn't mind a one on one with him" Alice said pointing at the dancer, grinning.  
I looked up and smiled at the dancer. "No Alice. I wouldn't."  
With that she smiled at the waiter and gave him a big roll of notes.  
"$5000 for a private show with that dancer." She chirped." Its for my friend here."  
"Alice!" I hissed.  
"Okay, come with me" The waiter replied, and I felt Alice pushing me forward.  
I followed him down a corridor until he stopped at a door with a sign that read 'The Black Room'. I walked in and every single piece of furniture was black. Even the carpet, walls and ceiling. I sat on the leather sofa taking off my engagement ring and shoving it down my bra.  
"Hi. I'm Edward." A slightly rough voice said. I jumped, not hearing him enter the room.  
'Wow he's even sexier closer up.' I thought.  
"Hello. I'm Bella." I said trying to sound sultry, but it came out like a whisper.  
I got up off the couch and walked over to shake his hand, but he leaned in and kissed me passionately.  
What the hell?  
I pulled away and slapped him. Storming out of the room, I couldn't keep my mind off of how great that kiss felt. Warm, passionate, electric.  
'What about Emmett?' that annoying voice in my head chipped in.  
Shit. Emmett. I'm meant to be getting married to him and I'm here thinking about how great it was to be kissed by another man. A cross dressing one at that.  
I was so angry at myself I left the club without waiting for Alice.  
"Wait Bella." Alice called running out after me. "Whats the matter? What happened?"  
"The sexy dancer kissed me." I stated. "It was nothing like how Emmett kisses me. This was much, much more."  
"Lets go home." Alice said as she put her arm around me.


	2. Confessions

**These are not my characters! They are Stephenie meyers!**

Chapter 2 - Confessions - BPOV

Alice waved as she drove off in her canary yellow porsche. We'd had a nice chat in the car about all my conflicting feelings.

I walked down the drive and past Emmetts jeep and straight in the front door.

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

I took off my stilettos and placed them by the door.

"Emmett?" I called. But no answer.

I got to the top of the stairs an walked towards the bedroom door. I put my hand on the door handle and let myself in. There they were Emmett doing our next door neighbour Rosalie, doggy style.

"EMMETT!!" tears came to my eyes as I screamed his name. "What the fuck? How could you?"

"Bella its not what it looks like" He got off of Rosalie, climbed out of the bed and walked over to me.

"Yes it is what it looks like! You're shagging our next door neighbour!" I shouted as a tear ran down my cheek "We're meant to be engaged!"

"We are."

"No." I stated. "No we're not, not anymore." I turnt around and scowled at Rosalie, who was just sitting there looking speechless, and I walked out the bedroom door.

I got to the front door and picked up my stilettos. Emmett came running behind me in his grey Calvin Klein boxers.

"Bella please wait and let me explain."

"There is nothing to explain Emmett, I saw it with my own two eyes." I cried.

"Please Bella?"

"Go to hell Emmett." I screeched. "And take this with you."

I chucked my engagement ring at him and walked out the front door.

I walked most of the night until I came across a little coffee shop called '24 hour cafe'. I walked in and sat at the nearest table to me. After a few minutes a waitress came over and I ordered a flat white. I sat there in a daze sipping my coffee every now and then, desperatly trying to get the images out of my head with no avail.

"I didnt know you where engaged" a soft male voice broke the silence. I looked up to see the male version of Edward.

"Im not. Well not anymore" I said trying to keep back the tears but they won and spilled over.

Edward came and sat next to me and I felt his warm arm wrap around my shoulders. It let off that same little electric current like he did when we kissed hours earlier.

"How did you know I was engaged?" I sobbed

"Alice told me." he stated "What happened?"

"I found my fiance in bed with the next door neighbour. He was doing her doggy style."

"Oh." was all he said.

There was an awkward silence between us for a couple of minutes, then I finally spoke "Im sorry I slapped you earlier."

"Don't worry about it." he said, while waving his hand around as though to brush it away.

We spoke the rest of the night until rush hour at 8am the next morning.

"Would you like a lift?" Edward asked kindly.

"No thanks. I gotta go get my belongings from my ex's. I'll get my friend to come get me."

"Cool. Um... see ya around then."

"Bye." I said and gave him a quick smile.

I got my mobile out from my tiny handbag Alice gave me and dialled her number.

An hour and 3 coffee's later Alice finally pulled up outside of the cafe. I got up out of my chair and walked towards her yellow porsche and got in.

"You look terrible." she said passing me her bag of make-up "Put some make-up on."

"Thanks"

After picking all my stuff up from Emmetts I told Alice about everything that had happened last night and she was having difficulty picking her jaw up from the bottom of her car.

Once we got to Alices's house she gave me her front door keys, kissed my cheek and sped off to work.

I walked into her house, dumped my belongings in her spare room and went straight to the phone. I dialled Emmetts number. After a few rings he picked up. I confessed everything to him, like how I never really loved him, me kissing a cross-dresser and loving every second of it.

After our argument on the phone we decided to never see each other again but I felt much better for it.

I sat down on Alice's designer sofa lifting up my legs and hugging my knees while staring into space.


	3. Just Friends

**Stephenie meyer made these characters not me!**

Chapter 3 - Just friends

BPOV

I got woken up to the smell of lasagne cooking. I looked up to see Alice prancing around in the kitchen like a little fairy. I looked up at the clock "shit" I whispered.

"Oh, hey Bella" Alice said in her chime like voice.

'How the hell did she hear that?' I thought to myself. "Hey Alice. Why didn't you wake me? I'm 2 hours late for work!"

"Don't worry Bella."

"Don't, don't worry?" I choked "Alice I need the money! I can't keep sleeping on your sofa for 10 hours!"

"Look, I phoned up the magazine company and they said it was fine. So just come and eat your lasagne." Alice skipped over to the table and dished a slice of lasagne onto a plate.

I stood up and walked over to the table and sat behind the huge plate of food and dug in.

"Mmm Alice this is great." I said as I took another bite of lasagne.

"It was my mother, Esme's recipe" It was still sad for Alice to talk about her mom who died 3 years back by a shark attack while deep sea diving.

Alice came and sat next to me with her huge plate of lasagne and shoved a forkful in her mouth.

"Alice?"

She swallowed her mouthful of food. "Hmm"

"Can I borrow some of your clothes?"

"Only if I get to pick out the outfit." She smiled.

I sighed at the thought of her dressing me like some sort of rag doll.

"Fine." I whispered.

She jumped up and down in her chair clapping uncontrollably "yay yay yay yay yay"

After we finished eating, Alice took my hand and ran into her bedroom. When she finished raking out her closet to find me a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, I finally left her house of torture.

I walked up to the big brown doors of the club where Edward worked and went in. The club was quiet for a Friday night and there was no sign of Edward. I guessed it was his day off so I turn't around and walked back out the door. Just as I called for a taxi I heard my name being called. It was Edward. Just the guy I came here to see.

"Hey I was just looking for you." I smiled.

"You found me" he chuckled. "I just came to pick up my pay check. Do you want to join me for a coffee?"

"Yeh sure." I followed behind him towards a little shiny Volvo.

After a long journey of silence we finally came across a cafe. We both got out of the Volvo Edward stood beside me putting his arm around my waist letting off his little electric current and we walked into the cafe.

After a few hours of talking and a couple of cups of coffee we got a lot closer. We were touching and stroking each other's hands. When we got kicked out of the cafe Edward decided to drive me home. Well, to Alice's home.

We sat in the car for an awkward 3 minutes, I leaned towards him and softly spoke into his ear. "What about your place tonight?" I sat back in my chair biting my lip as I watched his face light up.

"You bad girl." he smiled as he revved his engine and sped off.

When we got to his place he cut his engine. I undid my seat belt, put my legs around his, dived in and kissed him roughly. He opened his mouth, deepened the kiss and my tongue crashed into his. He slid both his hands down my back and grabbed my ass firmly pulling me closer towards his body.

As he pulled me closer I could feel his arousel in his pants. I pushed away gasping for air, I looked at him and the words just fell out "Your room?"

He nodded and smiled as I put my throbbing lips to his once more. We got out of the car holding hands and he lead the way into his home.

Once the bedroom door was closed, we kissed passionately again knocking things over as we tried to strip each other's clothes off.

We were both naked by the time we reached the bed. Once I was on the bed with him on top of me he shoved his hard throbbing erection inside of me. I ripped my lips away from his and let out an almighty groan. He kept thrusting in me and I groaned even louder. After climaxing 3 times I felt a hot liquid fill inside of me. Edward rolled off me and laid beside me. We were both out of breath but smiling at each other and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

After our breathing had slowed down I broke the silence "I only want to be friends." I said sadly knowing that I wanted to be more than that. "I'm sorry but it's just too soon. I only broke up with my fiancé yesterday."

"I know" he said hugging me closer to him and after a few minutes we were both asleep.

EPOV

Just as I pulled into the parking lot at the club I saw Bella walking out of there swaying her hips and pouting those soft lips. Just as she shouted for a taxi, I called her name she spun around and met my gaze.

"Hey I was just looking for you" she smiled. Her gorgeous lips spread across her pearl white teeth made me weak at the knees.

"You found me" I chuckled trying to make her laugh. "I just came to pick up my pay check. Do you want to join me for a coffee?"

"Yeh sure" she followed behind me towards my Volvo.

After a few hours he was giggling at my jokes and stroking my hands. It was a long journey back to Bella's friend's house but when Bella whispered in my ear 'your house' I couldn't get the car back in gear quick enough.

When I stopped the car outside mine she undone her seatbelt and her legs knelt either side of mine and her soft wet lips crushed onto mine pushing her tongue into my mouth. My hands went down her back and gripped her firm ass bringing her closer to me and my erection.

Then she said the words I thought I would never hear. As we made our way into my room I just couldn't get her clothes off of her quick enough.

Each time she groaned I just wanted to go further and further into her. After an hour we had finished. I rolled off her and laid beside her panting looking into her brown eyes I put my arm around her waist.

When she said she only wanted to be friends it broke my heart but I knew she was right and all I could say was "I know" I was too happy to argue I just pulled her closer and breathed in her scent and shortly after I was asleep.


End file.
